Amos: Boy, those Republicans sure are dumb. So dumb, they try to stop change wherever they can!
Andy: You figured that out? When?
Amos: Well, Sarah Palin’s an idiot, and ever since Dan Quayle… I guess I’ve always known. But there’s more.
Andy: Any favorites?
Amos: Well, there’s one point where Dan Quayle said he was going to brush up on his Latin before going to Latin America. I have a friend who’s a Republican, and he said that maybe someone who had a law degree and would make 47 state visits to other countries might have said that with “a twinkle in his eye,” expecting listeners to get the joke. Can you imagine rationalizing about the stupid Dan Quayle being that intelligent?
Andy: Do you have anything like that for Sarah Palin?
Amos: Not exactly…
But the photos really are outstandingly bad. You should see the expressions! And get this: my friend who is a Republican said that stills including video of speech will include stills that look silly, that Obama would have stills that were just as stupid-looking, and saying that Palin or Obama would have such stills was nothing more interesting than saying that either of them has a pulse. Can you imagine? What cheek!
Amos: And Republicans have a serious prejudice about what it means to have a black president. And get this, if you want to wonder what they were smoking: my Republican friend sighed and said, “It is proof that the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream is truly dead. Those who support him judge by the color of his skin, and saying ‘his critics’ are almost interchangeable with ‘those who judge him by the content of his character.'”
Andy: You mean they don’t understand how backwards it is to rationalize that kind of prejudice?
And Republicans do worse than poison the well as far as race relations go. Much worse! Do they even watch “The Daily Show?”
Amos: Well, I asked my friend who is a Republican, and he sighed, said he had watched “The Daily Show” a few times, and said that he had also watched Rush Limbaugh a few times, and then he said, “Every conservative I know considered Rush Limbaugh to be an embarrassment—and I am waiting to meet a liberal who considers ‘The Daily Show’ to be anything other than a strong dose of clear thinking on what’s happening in the news.”
Andy: But the Rush Limbaugh show was full of such logical fallacies!
Amos: And don’t get me started on an inconvenient truth! Having deniers is a luxury we cannot afford. Now of course climate deniers are in the same bag as Holocaust deniers. And the most insidious thing is that all the climatologists are in the pay of big oil, or sure actlike it! It’s not to a one, but most of the people who have a Ph.D. in climatology are trying to give a bit of prissy nuance and saying all sorts of things about the limits of their computer programs to model climate change. It’s disgusting! And my Republican friend, when I had tried to explain all about global warming to him, only sighed and said, “I’m worried about global cooling, and not manmade—and not something we’re able to do much about.” What cheek! Doesn’t he know that now is the time to act on global warming?
Andy: And I suppose your Republican friend has tried to deny that Obama has delivered change?
Amos: Puzzling enough, but no. He said, “Barack Obama has lived true to his word. Change he heralded, change he promised, change he delivered, and change he keeps on delivering.”
Andy [looks at watch]: Uh, fancy that, a Republican being right about… Uh, I’d love to continue, but I have to go.
Amos: Why do you say that? Do you have to be somewhere in the next ten or fifteen minutes?
Andy: No, but I do in about three hours. Gotta go!