Microsoft Offers Better "Truth in Advertising" for Windows XP Dialog Box

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Satire / Humor Warning:

As the author, I have been told I have a very subtle sense of humor.

This page is a work of satire, inspired by the likes of The Onion and early incarnations of The Onion Dome.

It is not real news.

Redmond, AP. Microsoft is preparing to release an update to Windows XP offering better "truth in advertising" for one of Windows XP's most important dialogs. From a leaked screenshot:

A clarified version of one of the more important dialog boxes in Microsoft Windows XP, displayed when a program becomes unresponsive. The box that said, "End Now" is expanded to also say, "Lock up for 30 seconds and then just display another little window exactly like this one." The box that said, "Cancel" is expanded to also say, "Let's face the facts. You probably aren't going to win this battle of wills, at least not anytime soon. Why don't you give up now and save yourself the trouble?"

A Microsoft fan commented, "There may have been one or two glitches along the way, but XP was great—and Windows 7 will be the best Windows yet!" A Unix wizard muttered something about the tallest of the seven dwarves, before saying: "I know that some features are really advanced and it takes a long time to get them working, but did you know that old unfriendly Unix has offered users a choice between meekly asking a program to be kind enough to wind down, and forcing a program to immediately quit, since before the eighties? Since before Windows was a gleam in the future Sir Gates's eye?"

"That may be," the Microsoft fanboy said, "but Microsoft has the best ads. You have to admit that those Seinfeld ads were classic!"

The Unix guru opened his mouth, closed it, and refrained from further comment.