55 New Maxims for the Cyber-Quarantine

Cover for The Luddite's Guide to Technology

(Note: Some of this is old and some of this is new. I’m not seeking to be original.)

  1. Trust technology about as far as you can throw it, and remember that you can’t throw software or the web.

  2. When facing a situation, ask, “What would a Boomer do?”

  3. If your priest is willing, ask for pastoral guidance in slowly but steadily withdrawing from technologies that hurt you. (Don’t try to leap over buildings in one bound. Take one step at a time, and one day at a time.)

  4. Practice the spiritual disciplines: prayer, fasting, generosity, church attendance, the sacraments, silence, etc.

  5. Use older technologies.

  6. Fast from technologies some of the time, especially on fasting days.

  7. Use your phone only for logistics, never for games, entertainment, or killing time. (You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.)

  8. Unplug your intravenous drip of noise, little by little. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it’s worth it.

  9. Own and read paper.

  10. Leave your phone at home some days.

  11. Read The New Media Epidemic.

  12. Read The Luddite’s Guide to Technology, with particular attention to The Consolation of Theology.

  13. Minimize or cut out completely your use of anti-social media. (By the way, spending time sucked into Facebook is a good way to enter a depression.)

  14. Read up on Humane Tech and advice for how to take control, but do not limit yourself to that.

  15. Do not own a television.

  16. Do not feed the trolls.

  17. Choose face-to-face meetings over Zoom meetings if you have a choice, and Zoom over any instant messaging.

  18. Consider screen time, and multitasking, to be a drain on the mindfulness we are seeking from the East because we have rejected it in the West.

  19. Turn off all phone notifications you have a live option to do.

  20. Look at your phone when it rings or buzzes. Do not check your phone unprovoked every five minutes to see if you missed a text.

  21. When you are reading on the web, don’t just scan the page. Read it, like a paper book, slowly.

  22. When you type, type full words, not txtisms.

  23. Don’t trade your adequate, existing, working gadgets for the latest and hottest gadget.

  24. Set a fixed bedtime, and then lights out is lights out.

  25. Keep and charge your phone in some room that is away from your bedroom.

  26. If you use porn, stop. If you find yourself unable to stop, bring it to confession, and seriously consider XXXchurch.com.

  27. Do not store up treasures on earth, but own and use technology only so far as it advances the Kingdom of Heaven.

  28. Live by a Silicon Rule of, “What technologies do Silicon Valley technology executives choose for their children?” Steve Jobs, for instance, gave his kids walls of paper books and animated discussion, and so far as I am aware no iPads.

  29. Reject contraception and Splenda.

  30. Shop in real, local stores, even a local Wal-Mart, rather than making Amazon your first port of call.

  31. Hang the fashions. Buy only what you need.

  32. When you want to go shopping like some feel-good sacrament, do not buy it. You may buy it after you’ve let go of coveting after it and probably let go of buying it at all, and not before.

  33. Limit your consumption of TED talks, and recognize them along psychology as something of a secular religion. (But if you need help, get help, without fear or shame.)

  34. Write snailmail letters, preferably with your own handwriting.

  35. Recognize that from the Devil’s perspective, Internet is for porn—and he may have helped inspire, guide, and shape its development.

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  37. Expect Amazon and Google Books to delist priceless treasures. (This is already happening.)

  38. Cultivate the virtues.

  39. Cultivate social skills, especially for face-to-face.

  40. If your conscience and applicable law permit, maybe consider owning and learning to use a gun. It’s safer for everyone to have most criminals and some law-abiding citizens be armed than only have criminals be armed.

  41. Seek theosis in the acquisition of the Spirit.

  42. When shopping, use a debit card before a credit card, and use cash before either if you have a choice. Giving away paper bills and wondering what to do with change is a partial deterrent to buying things you do not need.

  43. Never form an identity around the brands you patronize, and do not adopt a personal brand.

  44. If you have the luxury, check email once per day. If your job or obligations do not permit a literal once per day checking of email, check it as often as you must. (If that is once per hour, don’t keep checking your watch, but set an hourly alarm bell to remind you.)

  45. Limit new technological intrusions into your life.

  46. Repent of your sins.

  47. Read aloud some of the time.

  48. Cultivate connection with nature.

  49. Drop it and drive.

  50. Drop it and pay attention to the person you’re with.

  51. Keep good posture and take steps to avoid the diseases of civilization. Some approaches that have been taken to all be important include using Paleo diet (with fasts, eating vegetables in lieu of grain and saving bread for ceremonial purposes) and exercise, have a balanced ratio of Omega-3 to Omega-6 fatty acids, get real sleep, have engaging activities, and have social interactions.

  52. Do not be surprised if you live to see the Antichrist rise to power.

  53. Learn survival skills.

  54. Recognize that we are already in an apocalyptic singularity.

  55. Recognize that it will be easier to get the people out of the cyber-quarantine than to get the cyber-quarantine, our new home, out of the people.

  56. Keep a reasonable amount of cash available, at home or in a money belt.

  57. Read, and live, Fr. Tom Hopko’s 55 Maxims.

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Author: C.J.S. Hayward

C.J.S. Hayward is an Orthodox author and Renaissance man with master's degrees bridging math and computers (UIUC) and theology and philosophy (Cambridge). His most prized work is what he writes in Eastern Orthodox, Christian theology and apologetics. Readers of apologists like C.S. Lewis, G.K. Chesterton and Peter Kreeft, contemporary Orthodox authors such as Met. KALLISTOS Ware, and classic authors like St. John Chrysostom will find much food for spiritual reflection.