You Can Make Clutter VANISH!

Hello, folks, and I have a new way for you to make clutter vanish. (It’s based on modern physics!)
 
What you need to do is:
  1. Order a PODS container and fill it with as much of your household clutter as you can really cram in.

  2. Send the PODS container to the first address on this list:


    8215 SW. Cemetery St.
    Worcester, MA 01604

    632 Columbia St.
    Iowa City, IA 52240

    9489 Jennings Street
    Burlington, MA 01803

    9871 Rock Creek Street
    Defiance, OH 43512

    939 Cleveland Court
    Kenosha, WI 53140

    24 Manhattan Rd.
    Woonsocket, RI 02895

    99 Gainsway Street
    Fall River, MA 02720

    9215 Second St.
    Macon, GA 31204

    331 Hilldale Dr.
    Farmingdale, NY 11735

    66 Brown St.
    Stone Mountain, GA 30083

    176 SW. Tanglewood Street
    Roslindale, MA 02131

    7604 Grant Circle
    Horn Lake, MS 38637

  3. Delete the first address of this list.

  4. Send this email to everyone you know.
That’s all you have to do!
 
This approach may be counter-intuitive, but it works and the theory is sound. Sending away one container of unneeded clutter is only the beginning!
 
Once you have taken the simple steps outlined above, the principles will unfold. People will send you PODS containers offree clutter! Furthermore, the mass of the clutter delivered to you will increase with an exponential rate with high constants, enough so that a precise calculation would decidedly lend itself to using purely scientific notation.
 
As the plan unfolds further, the Swarzchild radius of the rapidly increasing mass of clutter will itself rapidly increase, while the gravitational pull will be inward. Before long a singularity will manifest and you will have a gravitationally completely collapsed object, AKA a black hole.
 
Then all clutter will vanish, and all new clutter will vanish!
 
So that’s it! An urban legend that’s actually based on modern physics!

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Author: C.J.S. Hayward

Who is Christos Jonathan Seth Hayward? A man, made in the image of God and summoned to ascend to the heights of the likeness of God. A great sinner, and in fact, the chief of sinners. One who is, moment by moment, in each ascetical decision choosing to become one notch more a creature of Heaven, or one notch more a creature of Hell, until his life is spent and his eternal choice between Heaven and Hell is eternally sealed. Man, mediator, midpoint, microcosm, measure: as man he is the recapitulation of the entire spiritual and visible creation, having physical life in common with plants and animals, and noetic life in common with rank upon rank of angel host, and forever in the shadow of that moment when Heaven kissed earth and God and the Son of God became Man and the Son of Man that men might become gods and the sons of God. He’s also a writer with a few hobbies, but really, there are more important things in life.